What's Love Got to do with Ice Skates and a Faux-Hawk?

Yes, it's the "Love Month," but that didn't do it. Valentine's Day didn't do it. My husband's birthday didn't do it. Nope. My deep thoughts on love this month stemmed from - if you can believe it - some snide remarks a child made about my son at the ice skating rink. This older, obviously more experienced skater, was wearing hockey skates. He took one look at my child wearing ice skates and smarted off, "Hey, you've got the wrong skates." Obviously, Alex's skates weren't "manly" enough for him.

Then, as if to add insult to injury, he made a comment that my son's new hairstyle made him look like a bird - in front of his friends. Alex had been thrilled about his "faux-hawk" earlier that morning, but came off the ice covering his head with his hood and trying everything he could to flatten out his "crown."

I'll bet you're wondering how in the world that made me think about love. Well, in all honesty, the child's statements didn't make me think too much about love at all. What I really thought about was how to get out on the ice and tell that boy a few things about his skates and his hair, which was by the way, too short for a faux-hawk!

I digress.

Instead, my deep, intense ponderings began during a family devotion, the day after this happened. We were discussing God's love for us and how we could truly love others in that way. Still thinking about the day before, Steve asked, "Well, Alex, how could you have shown him love?" There was silence. Being the Momma Bear that I am, I suppressed the feelings of anger rising within me and sat quietly waiting to hear what my little one said - all the while thinking, "Well, it probably would be best just to tell this young man that my son liked his hair the way it was and walk away." Yes, that would have been fine, but that wasn't the right answer.

A few seconds later, my husband said something that still rings in my ears and resonates with my heart on every level. He said, "What you could have done is say,'Well, I like my hair this way. By the way, you're hair is pretty cool, too.'"

I got hit right between the eyes with that one. You see, too many times I think that I am loving someone...that I am exhibiting Christ-like behavior, just because I DON'T respond when they "push my buttons." And I am...in a way. But if we're really talking about loving others the way Christ loved us, I think we have to take it further than just "not responding." Christ DEMONSTRATED His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). God put His love for us into action. He made a decision of His will to "act out" His love...regardless of the present circumstances or the eventual outcome.

You know, I can't predict what will happen the next time Alex meets this young man. I can, however, predict what will happen when I do. I will love him. I will choose to encourage him, despite his potential to discourage my son, yet again. I will choose to fight how I feel, and bless, instead of curse. I will choose to pray for him and do good unto him, regardless. I will choose to love him, as Jesus has loved me.

Thank You, Jesus. Thank You that you love me fully and unconditionally. Teach me to love the way You do...regardless of the situation. Teach me to be intentional about my responses to those around me. Glorify Yourself through Your love of others, through my life. Praise You, Father...Praise You.

Life Lessons from Little Ones

This happened several years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.

The weather was awful. It was storming outside - so much so, that I would not have been surprised to see Dorothy and Toto floating by my kitchen window, accompanied by a lion, a scarecrow and a shiny tin-man.

We were supposed to be going to a friend's house that day, but because of the weather, I decided to postpone our trip. I was disappointed, but not half as much as my daughter. She had been waiting for DAYS to go to Raleigh to see her friend, and the thought of not going was not an option. So, KK went right to the Source and simply asked God to make the rain stop.

Not wanting her to be upset when the rain didn't magically cease, I started a "spiritually-mature" conversation with her about how God may choose NOT to answer her prayer in the way she desired. Can I just tell you how embarrassed and ashamed I felt a few moments later, when the rain stopped and the sun burst forth from behind the clouds as if to scream, "I'm Back!" KK ran in the room and said, "Mommy, I prayed that God would make the rain stop, and He did. Now we can go to Andrew's!"

The sad thing is...I didn't expect it to happen. I didn't expect God to stop the rain. But KK did. She fully expected the storms to stop, just because she asked...even when all she could see was wind and rain.

The Bible says in Hebrews 11:6 that without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Somewhere along the line as an adult, I forgot that. Oh, I believe Him. I believe that God is. It's the part about Him being a Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him that I seem to have trouble remembering.

Young children don't have that problem. They trust God will be a Rewarder. They don't need to see the answer in front of them, before they believe something to be true. They have a keen sense in knowing that God delights in honoring their requests, no matter how simple or insignificant they seem to us, as adults. Oh, to be more like them in our faith.

Today, Father, we seek You and believe that You desire to be our Rewarder. Thank You for the lessons You teach us through Your precious ones. Help us to pay closer attention to their simplicity of faith. May we please You with our faith today, as we diligently seek You and as we wait anxiously to see You answer.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord...
Why? Is God who He claims to be? Is He able to be trusted? Is He capable of handling our lives? If your soul screamed "YES!" to these questions, as mine did, then let's trust Him. Let's believe Him. Let's know that He will not fail us.
...with all your heart...
He wants everything we are. He wants the whole heart - the damaged pieces, the hiding places, the insecurities. He wants it "all."
...And lean not on your own understanding.
Our flesh fights this. We want to lean on what we know. We want to hold fast to what we can see, on what we understand to be real. BUT God says we are NEVER to put our trust in what our frail little minds can comprehend. There's no way we can understand fully YET. One day we will know fully, just as we are fully known (I Cor. 13:12), but for now, we're told to not trust in our thoughts or emotions or circumstances. Instead, we're to put our trust in Him and what He says in His Word.
Acknowledge Him...
It's our duty and our privilege to bow and "bend the knee" when God the Father comes into our presence. He is our King...our Ruler...our Lord. His presence is not to be ignored, but honored - and we do so, by acknowledging not only His presence in our lives, but His leadership.
...in all your ways...
It's all or nothing. He desires our total attention - our total allegience to His authority in our lives - our complete and unconditional surrender.
...and He will direct your paths.
What a promise from the God of the universe in Whom there is no deceit - He will direct our paths.

Lord, I trust in You will all my heart. I choose not to lean on what I think to be truth or feel to be right, but instead acknowledge You as my God and my King. I surrender to what You have planned for me, and I "bend the knee" to You. Thank You, Father, that as I do this in every area of my life on a daily, minute by minute basis, You promise that You will direct me. I don't have to worry about where I'm going in life, for You're leading me and guiding me. Thank You for Your promise, Jesus. Amen.

My thought for the day...I AM CHOSEN.

This makes me think back at all the times I stood in line and waited to be picked for a team. If I was good at the sport, I would get chosen pretty quickly. Other times, I was picked out of mercy, simply because my friends didn't want to see me hurt. And then there were those times when no amount of mercy or pouting on my part could convince anyone...not even my friends to forfeit their chance at beating the opposing team.

Not being chosen was never a great feeling, and it still isn't. That's one reason I am thrilled I don't have to worry about NOT being chosen any more. You see,
Ephesians 1:4-6 says He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons (and daughters) by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. (NKJV)

Before the foundation of the world, God looked deep into the future and handpicked me to be His little girl. It's not because of anything I have ever done or anything I will ever do. It's just because it pleased Him to do so...because picking me was according to the good pleasure of His will. He CHOSE to pick me out and change my filthy rags to righteous white robes. He chose to take the sins of this country girl...and there were many...and cast them as far as the east is from the west. Then, He promised to do it again and again, even after I became His. He chose me to be His daughter, to represent Him among people.

Despite everything I can come up with...despite every sin that comes to my mind...despite all of my failures, insecurities, and inabilities...HE STILL CHOSE ME. He chose my life to be praise to the glory of His grace.

Oh, how I pray you can catch a glimpse of this with me. If you are His daughter, He has chosen you, too...not because of something that you have done or how "good" you are or even what you can do for Him. It's merely because of His great grace, and His great love for us.

Thirsty???

Cave Spring is a quaint little town in north GA located about 10 minutes from Rome. With all its charming little businesses, it should be pictured on the front cover of a Southern Living Magazine or at least featured in an upcoming Georgia Public Television episode.

The city was actually named for - you guessed it - a natural spring bubbling out of a mountain cave located in the middle of town. People come from miles and miles around, (no kidding) just to fill up bottles, milk jugs, and any other container you could think of, with this amazingly clear, great-tasting water. On any given day, you can drive into the park and join the line of people already there, filling up their containers. Some are pulling wagons, while others are simply bringing a couple of jugs at a time to the water's edge. Let me warn you, though. If you ever decide you want to visit and collect some water of your own, don't think you'll find a spigot or a hose. The water flows directly out from the mountain, and in order to collect it, you have to bend down and over the water...sort of like Augustus Gloop when he was drinking from the chocolate river in the Wonka Factory. Collecting water from the spring is not a dignified experience, so it would be best to leave your heels and your dress clothes at home.

The water tastes better than any of the bottled stuff you'll ever buy and is as clear and cold as a mountain stream. Best of all, it's free. I think that's the draw for people. It would be for me, if I lived any closer.

Yet, there is another Water, clearer and better than even the Cave Spring water. Jesus Christ, Himself, is that Water...the Water of Life...and like the water in Cave Spring, when people taste It, nothing will ever satisfy quite like It again. Once your taste buds develop an appetite for the Living Water, that long trek in your home from the bed to the "quiet time chair" will seem like just a hop, skip, and jump. Church will no longer seem like a place just to go on Sundays, but instead, you'll drive long distances and not complain about the preacher going over into the lunch hour. You'll find yourself wanting to be with Jesus, over and over again. Life will taste sweeter...because it will be.

Just like the Cave Spring water, receiving the Living Water costs you nothing, except maybe a little dignity. You can't get it from a tap. You can't stand up and expect the Water to jump into your heart. You have to humble yourself and bend your knees to be filled.

Let me encourage you, drink freely. Open your Bible and wait. Sit and listen for Jesus to speak...and then be filled.

Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life. (John 4:13-14).

The Progression

"It's just not worth it," I thought. The young couple behind me in line were getting increasing agitated with one another. The young man was supposed to have "picked something up" and brought it to the check out line, but didn't, and the young lady wasn't letting him forget it. It was merely a communication problem, but the longer they "conversed," the more intense the conversation became. Surprisingly, they weren't getting louder: their voices were actually getting softer and softer. Finally, there were no voices at all...just silence...accompanied by "the look."

"It's just not worth it," I thought again as I peered around to see if their eyes had softened toward one another..."It's just not worth it."

After 17 years of marriage, I actually HAVE learned a few lessons - some of them, the hard way. I've learned that husbands love and need to be respected by their wives. I've learned that men, just like women, need to feel appreciated and cherished. I've also learned that arguments just aren't worth the havoc they create.

"Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry; for the anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God," Scripture says in James 1:19. In Ephesians 4:26, God warns us to "Be angry and sin not." Great Words of Wisdom, but how difficult it is to put them into practice. Sometimes, even the little stuff inflames me. I find myself burning everyone around me and then regretting, repenting, and apologizing. It's a vicious cycle that needs to stop in my life...and yours.

My husband taught on this very thing in church a few months ago, and it revolutionized some people's lives and marriages. He talked about the progression levels of conflict and how just recognizing these levels can help you control and even dispel the feeling of anger growing within you when confronted with a potentially intense situation.

The first rule of thumb is simple - stay on the Issue Level. In other words, keep the main thing, the main thing. When an argument begins, simply continue routing yourself back to the issue at hand. All too often, as emotions get involved, we stair-step the real problem and jump right into attack mode. One minute we're talking about not having toilet paper because our spouse simply forgot to purchase it and the next, we're pointing fingers and saying things like, "Well, YOU never remember to get the things I need."

Do you know what I'm talking about? The "discussion" is no longer about toilet paper. It’s about a person. The conflict has progressed from the Issue Level to the Personal Level. See the difference?

So you can see how it’s imperative to stay focused on the issue. Keep the main thing, the main thing. Never allow yourself to say, "You always..." or "You never..." Stay on topic and don't deviate. This really helps, because it doesn't just keep you in control of your tongue, it helps to diffuse the potential for anger in the other person. If you allow yourself to start pointing fingers - the intensity in the situation increases, instead of decreases, and emotions begin to take control, instead of reason.

HOWEVER, even if this happens - even if a discussion reaches the Personal Level, you can still get back on track. Stop yourself, apologize to the Lord AND your spouse. Control your thoughts AND your tongue. Then, resume the discussion. If you don't, things will get out of hand quickly. The argument will gravitate and elevate to the Relationship Level. This is NOT where you want to be. As the accusations continue, anger increases, and all of the sudden, you're thinking (or even worse, saying) things like, "I can't believe I ever married you in the first place."

A simple act of forgetting the toilet paper has birthed a seed of bitterness that will grow and consume an individual if not kept in check. Do you see the progression through the different levels? Do you see how dangerous NOT staying on issue can be...not being quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to become angry?

Oh my friend, communication that progresses to uncontrolled anger and bitterness is just simply not worth the cost. The next time a potentially strained situation occurs, let’s allow the Spirit to have control - to keep us in check and on the issue. Our marriages, our relationships, our right-standing before Jesus – all of those things are at stake and worth the effort to learn how to communicate and confront in a loving manner. Don’t you think?

Jesus, open our ears and hearts and close our mouths. Help us to love each other as You love us...unconditionally. Help us to communicate well, honoring You in the process. Help us to live lives worthy of Your calling. We praise You, Jesus. Amen.

My "To Do" List

I'm a list person. Give me a pen and a sheet of paper, and adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. It thrills me to imagine all the things I can jot down and cross off, all at the same time. You've probably met people like me before...people who make lists and add things they've already done, just to feel the accomplishment of having "done" something. Yep, that's me.

But there's a method to my madness. "To Do Lists" (when I "do" them) seem to help me accomplish more things with my time, organize my thoughts better, and not forget what I'm supposed to be getting done! However, I've noticed that if I'm not careful, this "list mentality" can be detrimental, especially to my relationship with Jesus.

For instance, after the kids went to bed tonight, I started thinking about all the things that we could do as a family tomorrow...paint the house, unpack the suitcases that have been sitting in the floor since last Saturday, vacuum, etc.... Sounds like good quality, family-fun, right?!? Anyway, my thoughts progressed: "I'll start with my quiet time, fix breakfast and get to the laundry. Maybe while the kids are folding clothes I can..." All of the sudden, I realized that in my list-oriented little brain, I had LUMPED Jesus in with everything else. I wasn't thinking about building my relationship with Him. I was thinking about getting my time with Him, DONE. Ouch.

Now, in no way am I suggesting that I don't need to "schedule" time for Jesus in my life. Scripture tells us specifically to set aside time to spend with Him. However, when that "time" becomes simply another "to do" item to check off, I need to re-evaluate...and repent!

My quiet time with Jesus should never be about "getting something done." My quiet time with Him should be about building a relationship...sharing life with One I love...having Him order my day, so that all that needs to be done, will get done!

Thank You, Father, that I'm not merely on Your "to do" list...that I'm precious to You...that You cherish our relationship. Thank You that You passionately desire to spend time with me...to build a deeper and more intimate relationship with me. I'm amazed by You...amazed.

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.