I've Got This!

The doctor looked at me the other day with a smile on his face and said, "You've never been called 'stubborn' have you?"  I smiled back at him and replied, "No, of course not."

It's taken me a long time to realize that I'm the epitome of what some people might call "a little determined."  Don't get me wrong, I don't think all stubbornness (I mean, determined-ness) is a bad thing.  After all, God made me this way for a reason.  However, spiritually speaking, sometimes my stubbornness is a great hindrance to my walk with Jesus. 

You see, sometimes when I am struggling with a situation, my stubbornness takes over.  I think to myself, "I've got this.  I can handle it,"  when all the while, Christ is standing off to the side telling me I was never meant to "handle this" on my own.  I try and try and try...pulling myself up by my boot straps...determined to pull myself out of the pit, and yet, I keep falling - over and over again.  Climbing out becomes too hard, and I find myself curled up in the fetal position, frustrated with my ability to NOT "get this." 

Ever been there?  It's an ugly and yet, beautiful place to be.  Ugly, because you know that it's YOU who's put you there, and beautiful, because that's where Christ can finally reach you.  He's been there, but as long as you have your face to the wall trying to pull yourself out, you never see that He is patiently waiting for you to turn your face to Him, so He can show you another way out.

Let's picture it this way:
You are at the bottom of a brick well.  Fortunately, there are some bricks missing, almost in a stair step pattern all the way to the top.  Each hole in the wall is a perfect place for a foot rest.  You begin to notice that each of the bricks has a verse written at the bottom.  The first foot-hold you see says, "We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus" (Rom. 8:37).  You read it, get excited about it, and shove your foot as hard as you can into the little crevice, ignoring the other footholds a little higher on the wall.  The next foothold says, "...for momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison" (II Cor. 4:17).  You muster strength to hold on, as you shove your other foot in deep.  From somewhere below, you hear Jesus calling, "Come to Me all ye who are weary and heavy laden" (Matt. 11:28). 

Immediately, you call to Him, "It's okay, Jesus.  I've got this.  I'm standing on Your Word.  I'll meet you at the top!"  So you trudge higher, only for your foot to slip out of the next hole.  You tumble off the wall and fall flat on your back...for the eighth time.  Finally, you crumble into a heap at the bottom of the well and look up in the Savior's face for the FIRST time.  You can see Him clearly now.  His eyes are fixed on you, and He has that beautiful gaze directed deeply into your eyes. 

The questions come:  "Why, Jesus?  Why couldn't I climb out?  I keeping falling back into this mire.  I'm standing on Your Word.  I'm quoting it to myself, as I climb.  Why isn't it working?"

Then He quietly replies: "Because You're climbing on Your own.  Your determined nature is clouding your vision.  My Word was never meant to be used apart from Me.  Come, I'll show you what I mean."  He stretches out His hand, and this time, you grasp it for fear of remaining in your present state. 

He pulls you to your feet with ease, and as you stand, you turn your back to Him and approach the wall of verses.  You look up: "Sure is a long way, and I don't want to fall again." 

Jesus, knowing your heart and your thoughts, looks at you and says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness" (II Cor. 12:9). 

"Isn't that interesting," you think.  "Christ's power is perfected in my weakness, not my determination or stubborn will.  His power...His miraculous ability to help me climb out of this well...His will for My life, is made perfect when I am weak.   Hmmm...."

You start to stick your foot into the first opening that says, "We are more than conquerors who are in Christ Jesus," but then you remember He's behind you.  You turn back, surprised to see Him pointing in another direction.  "That one first," He replies.  You look over and begin to read the writing at the bottom of the crevice:  "Submit to God...Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up" (James 4:7, 10). 

"But this hole will be harder to reach," you argue.  "Wouldn't it make more sense to start with another Scripture first...one a little closer to the ground...one about victory and endurance in Christ?"  You look back at Jesus, and He smiles.  "Has Your way worked so far, my child?" 

Realizing He's right, you shake your head and pick up your foot a little higher, shoving it into the crevice.  As you do, you notice that the open crevice closes around your foot, giving the hole into a shoe-like fit, securing your foot on the wall. 

Again, you follow His direction, and the same thing happens.  This time the verse underneath reads, "He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber" (Ps. 121:3).  It's at this point you realize, Christ was right all along:  "This is the path to choose...the right verses to stand on to help me out of this well."   

And those other verses - those verses that talk about victory and strength and determination?  Well, they still have their place on the wall, and as you climb, you see them again.  But unlike before, this time, your foot fits perfectly as you listen to Him, and you feel the strength and assurance the verses were meant to give. 

You then begin to realize where you went wrong in the beginning of your ascent.  You got the verses all out of order.  You were trying so hard to climb the right path...without listening to the One who knows the "right path." 

I hope you don't find yourself "there" today.  Instead, I hope that you are at the top of the wall, praising the One Who led you out.  However, if you are "there," let me encourage you:  don't give up.  Get back up on the wall, and this time, listen desperately to Christ.  Listen to Him telling you where to place your feet.  Listen to His leading, step by step.  Remember to submit your strong will to Him...to what He desires for you...shrugging off your independence FROM Him and pursuing your dependence ON Him, allowing His strength to become perfected reality in your life. 

Jesus, I pray for those today who are stuck at the bottom of a well...those Believers who are tired and worn out from the struggle of trying to make it out.  I pray that You would whisper Your love to them...that You would reassure them of Your presence in the well...and that they would let go and turn to You.  I praise You, Lord, for never leaving us nor forsaking us.  I praise You that You are our Guide and our Friend.  Thank You for holding our hands and placing our feet right where they need to be.  You are truly amazing.