A Good Work Ethic Doesn't Build a Good Relationship

You know, sometimes, the very thing that you don’t want to do is the very best thing for you.  For example, I don’t like to sit.  Never have.  I feel like I’m wasting my time, if I am not filling my time doing something. 

I remember when Steve and I first married, he would come in, sit on the couch and just watch me for a few minutes.  I, of course, was up running around, cleaning, cooking, and straightening things.   You know, everything that needed to be done in order for a new marriage to work well. 

Yeah, right. 

After about 5 minutes, Steve would finally say, “Hey,” and then motion for me to come sit with him.  I promise you, my heart fought me the whole way to the couch.  I knew I needed to go sit with my new husband.  I knew I needed to spend some time with him, but there was so much to do…so much else to get done before the end of the day, if I was to be the perfect wife.  Begrudgingly, I would go sit. 

And you know what?  I never regretted it. 

It’s funny.   You would think after 20 years of marriage, I would have learned something about building a relationship.  You think I would have learned how better to “sit” with the one I love.  Yet, just the other day, my husband lovingly looked at me from the corner of the couch and said, “Hey,” once again motioning for me to take a seat.  I fought the urge to say “But I have to - ,” and instead, plopped down next to him, snuggled in close and spoke with him about my day and just life in general.    

Yes, it goes against my nature.  Yes, I have to fight the feeling of THINGS needing to get done, in order to spend a few minutes of quality time with my husband, but the benefits far exceed the initial “interruption” of my daily plans.  We have a beautiful marriage and a very deep communication…which, by the way, didn’t come from a clean house, an organized kitchen, or even a well-cooked breakfast.  Instead, it came from spending time with him – fighting my urge to do things FOR him, and learning how to just be WITH him.    

You would think that bit of knowledge would transpose itself over into my spiritual walk.  However, I still have to fight my nature, when it comes to my relationship to Jesus.  There are so many things to do in a day, and only so much time.  There are meals to fix, clothes to wash, school to be done.  So much clamors for my attention, and yet, as much as it goes against what I feel, I know deep inside it is the necessary thing to sit with my Lord and spend time with Him in order to build our relationship.   

How do I know it’s the “necessary thing?”  Because in Matthew 10, Jesus tells us it is:   38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”  ⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Notice that Christ didn’t condemn Martha for her work ethic.  He didn’t tell her that her service was un-needed or unappreciated.  There’s nothing wrong with doing something well and working hard at it.  He did, however, say that a good work ethic alone doesn’t build a good relationship.  

Hmmm….

What about you?  What do you choose to do when you hear Him whisper, “Hey,” and then see His hand motioning for you to come and sit for a little while?  Let me make that a little clearer.  What do you do when you see His Word, lying on your nightstand unopened?  Do you say, “I’ll do that later, AFTER I get some things done?”  Do you pass by and try to pretend It’s not there or do you grab It, plop down on the couch and sit for a while, talking to Him about your day?    

I challenge you.  Learn to sit with Him.  Work on your relationship with the Father, instead of just working for Him.  Learn to spend time with Him - talking with Him - listening to Him – reading His Word.     

I promise you…you won’t regret it. 

Jesus, thank You.   Thank You for wanting to spend time with me…for calling me to come and sit with You for a while, and then speaking when I do.  Thank You that my relationship with You can be meaningful and deep.  Thank You for loving me.  I praise You, Lord.