The "I" in Me

Growing up on a farm, I've come to see gardening as something precious. I vividly remember my daddy walking the fields when I was a kid. Row after row, he'd stop and look...stop and look. I always wondered why he did that. Now, I know. I do the same thing in my own garden - looking for signs of life...for signs of death...for those nasty little critters I've come to dislike SOOO very much.

One day during the gardening season last summer, a friend stopped by to bring me some sweet potato plants. Of course, I HAD to show him my garden. Later that day, I called him for some advice. During the conversation, he said that the plants in my garden were beautiful, but the reason I wasn’t seeing much fruit was probably due to over-fertilization. I simply needed to cut back. He said, "This may sound ugly, but the plants have to think they are dying before they will produce any fruit." In other words, I'd been feeding my plants SO much that they were content and happy to put on new growth...without giving me anything to show for it!

We're like that, aren't we? We’re happy and content to be comfortable. We want to be well-fed, well-watered, and have just the right amount of sunshine, so that we can grow and grow and grow and be seen as the biggest, most beautiful plant in the garden. However, if we shower ourselves in comfort, we'll never produce any fruit for the kingdom.

The very thing that produces fruit in our lives as Christians is not comfort. It's death. Jesus explains this principle by using a parable of the natural world. He said "Unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit" (John 12:24). Just like the grain of wheat that falls to the earth has to die to bear much fruit, so I have to die to myself, in order to produce "much fruit" for Christ.

Now, that doesn't come naturally to me. Dying to myself has to be a decision of my will, because what comes natural to me is to feed the "I," in me. "I" wants what it wants, and it wants it now! "I" wants to be comfortable. "I" wants to be first in line at the grocery store. "I" doesn't want to change the poopy diaper. "I" wants you to do it! "I" wants to let someone know when "I" is unhappy and angry. "I" wants to retaliate when someone wrongs me, instead of letting Christ be my Defender. "I" wants to be patient and loving to those "I" loves...not to those "I" doesn't know! The funny thing about "I"is that it never does anything to produce fruit for Jesus. It just produces more "I."

And that's what people see. If "I" were the one that paid the ultimate price for my life...if "I" were the one that removed my sin and made me free....if "I" were the one to live again, so that I could live eternally in heaven...if "I" did all of that for me, then it wouldn't be so bad to let people see the "I" in me. HOWEVER, "I" didn't do all of those things...only Jesus did. In other words, people don't need to see more "I" in this world...they need to see more "Him."

Jesus, help me to die to myself today and put others first. Help me not to allow my own selfishness to rob me of producing fruit for Your kingdom. May my desires and wants be those of Christ's. Amen.