To Complain or Not to Complain

Conviction...that's about it - sheer conviction.

Normally, I don't think of myself as a "complainer."  As a matter of fact, I have always tried to purpose in my heart, NOT to do so. However, as I sat and listened to the Word proclaimed, I was convicted of the very thing that I disdain so much.

The pastor taught on Philippians 2:14,15 - "Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky."

I've heard these verses many times.  I've written about these verses...taught on these verses.  Even more than that, I have tried to instill them in my children with a passion - "You are a light in this world.  Act like it.  Don't grumble or complain, so as to dim your light for Christ."

Yet as I was put in an unusually unnerving position today, my first thought was a complaint.  I wish I could say that I immediately kicked that thought right out of my mind, and my heart was content and cheerful from then on.  However, that wasn't the case at all.  As a matter of fact, all I wanted to do was to get up and get out, so I could speak freely of my displeasure in the car to my husband, away from others.  It's alright to complain to your spouse, right?!?  NO.  The more I listened, the more convicted I became - the Spirit showing me my own pride and arrogance for the very verses I say I hold so dear.

So, I decided in my heart that I would not complain in the car, nor anywhere else for that matter.  Do you know how difficult that was?  Every time something was mentioned about the service, I really wanted to share my story.  It WAS true, but it wasn't edifying.  

Jesus took me to another verse, early yesterday, which probably is why these verses hit so hard today. Proverbs 10:19 says, "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."  Know what that means to me?  Belinda, BITE YOUR TONGUE - literally, if you have to.

And that's what I have had to do today.  Everyone thought there was something wrong, because I have been so quiet.  Little did they know - it was all I could do to STAY that way.

I wonder if you struggle with this as I have?  I wonder if there is some part of you that is even at this moment feeling remorse for words said in aggravation.  I can guarantee you - it's not gonna get any better until you deal with it.  You've gotta ask God to forgive you and help you remove that complaining spirit as far as the east is from the west.  Then, you gotta keep quiet for a while, guarding the door of your lips to make sure that nothing escapes, except that which is "helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Eph. 4:29).

Forgive me, Lord, when my heart is so far removed from You that I focus on everyone and everything else besides You.  May my speech at all times, reflect what I say I believe and Who I say I serve.  I love You, Father.  Thank You for being patient with Your child.